Praying and confessing has been my consolation but it has been a raging fire. I kept thinking and praying and reading my Bible and I finally realized what I am experiencing is a peeling away of layers of angst-lined clothing that God does not want me wearing.
But it seems that as a foolish, deceived child I am covering up the glory of the Lord by putting on the wrong DesignerWear over my robe of righteousness: Being Deceived Dress, Shame Shoes, Guilt Handbag, Unbelief Belt, and the most popular article of WorldlyWear, Pride Coat!
I don't recall dressing myself this way but, hey, I also have a deceitful enemy who may have whispered that I should put it on because he convinced me that is who I am. Yep. Lies. Darkness. Spiritual warfare. It's been going on long enough that this clothing was beginning to smell like smoke! I knew God wouldn't send relief until I "got it." And I wanted this torment to be lifted. Burning holes we're beginning to show up on these spiritual prison clothes, Girls!
I am a child of God and He has told me, as He tells all of His children, "Follow Me." And through Scripture and the power of the Holy Spirit He gives us all kinds of warnings, instructions and beautiful promises as we walk in His steps. Promises of pain and heartache as well as abundance of love and joy! Teachings to do right and live right in accordance to His word. Instructions to believe Him and take Him at His word.
And He tells us to carry on His work of being the light of the world so we can glorify His name. (Matthew 5:14-16)
He also tells us, "If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his life with lose it but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (Matthew 16:24). That's exactly what He did as He walked on this earth!
When Jesus called my name so many years ago and saved me He clothed me in His robe of righteousness (Isaiah 61:10) and wearing His royal attire made me right in the eyes of the Father. I became Beloved. Cherished. Valuable. Treasured. Blessed. Empowered. Holy Spirit filled. Christ filled. BOOM! HALLELUJAH!
As God was pulling me along in this journey -- remember He never leaves us -- I began to think of His Son who was called by God to save His people from their/our sins by dying on a cross and then three days later rise from the grave and go back to heaven and be enthroned at the right hand of God. That was his life purpose on earth.
So Jesus denied Himself every day out of obedience to His Father. He knew He was deeply loved. Before He fulfilled His purpose on earth, His clothes were stripped away from Him as He was beaten and in preparation for what God was calling Him to do: Hang on a cross.
Now Jesus didn't need spiritual pruning, of course, but I obviously do! God is telling me to "throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles...and run with perseverance the race set before us/me." (Hebrews 12:1).
My analogy is we're to follow Him and His walk and do what He did on earth. And if God is sending me through the refiner's fire in preparation for the new work He's calling me to, then I'm excited. New invitations have already come but this must be more preparation!
"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many." (Mark 10:45) (Matthew 20:28)
And I will be more diligent to wear another very powerful DesignerWear ensemble every day, too! It's called the Armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) which would have probably kept me from going so deep into the darkness.
There is no god like our God. No one greater. No one stronger. No one more loving. No one wiser. No one with glory!
And let's all stop listening to the devil's marketing of lies and let's not wear any more of those WorldlyWear outfits...peel them off, Sister, and "Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt His name together!"